Heaven's Symphony

I had my last first trimester appointment yesterday. It was much anticipated because I was planning on asking and receiving anti-nausea meds. This pregnancy has been like no other leaving me extremely sick and sometimes feeling like I can't get up out of bed. It makes it more challenging having two little ones at home, which is why I felt the urgency to get some medicine!

Twice before, this appointment was highly anticipated because it is when you actually get to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. I remember counting down the days when pregnant with both Holland and Jackson. For many reasons, I have felt numb about this pregnancy, most likely because I still don't fully comprehend how this happened. I mean, I know how it happened, but medically speaking there is no explanation. I like being reminded of that every time I am at the doctor because it sparks amazing conversations between myself and the physicians and it is left undeniable that there is a Great Physician at work in our lives.

As I lay there on the table with the doppler on my abdomen, I couldn't help but feel like I had just experienced this. Within a moment or so, I heard the sweetest sound that took grasp of my heart in a way like never before. Our baby's heartbeat could not have sounded more like heaven's symphony to me. My heart gushed with love, adoration, protection and pure joy all in an instant.

I sat in my car outside of the doctor's office and just wept. I was so thankful for the joy that He allowed me to feel on this day and for blessing us, truly blessing us, with another one of His children. How could I not rejoice with this gift and miracle growing exponentially everyday inside of me? I shared with David, my feelings of true peace, joy and contentment with this pregnancy and he just smiled at me. His smile was enough for me to know that he has had those things since the moment I shared with him we would be having a third child.

This baby too is being "fearfully and wonderfully made" by Him. On this third time of hearing our baby's heartbeat, I feel as though I now have a deeper appreciation of unborn life and the sovereignty that comes in solely trusting Him. I'm prayerful that I will never forget the overflowing joy I felt when I heard heaven's symphony yesterday.

Full House

I love having a full house. Nothing warms my heart quite like it. The pitter patter of little feet, "Is Jackson down for a nap?", and doors wide open are images and sounds forever ingrained in my mind.

My family came to Pittsburgh this Labor Day weekend to visit. Holland could barely sleep Wednesday night anticipating their arrival. Finally at 10:15, she went to sleep! I think David and I were secretly just as excited.

We spent an entire day shopping at Ikea and didn't even get to look at everything. I will admit that their beds are sturdy--3 little girls were singing and jumping on them pretending to be music superstars. Thankfully (and surprisingly), we broke nothing! We did find some fabulous buys and I picked up a few Christmas gifts.

On Saturday, we took the train into the city. The girls were so excited and David was happy to show landmarks and tell them how much longer we had to ride. We took the Incline to the top of Mount Washington, which overlooked the Monongahela River and a picturesque view of Pittsburgh. We ate lunch at Hard Rock Cafe and then went further downtown to sneak a peek of David's office at Heinz. The visit would not have been complete without people watching.

It was a great visit and I'm so thankful for the memories made!

And then there were 5...

Philippians 4:6-8

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Life is full of surprises. Early August brought us the news that we would be adding to our family. Yes, another baby. Irish twins. Jackson, 4 months old, is going to be a big brother. 3 precious gifts in 39 months.

Unbelievable. I would be remiss, if I did not confess that I cried more than I probably ever have in my entire life. Disbelief, uncertainty and anxiety swept through and flooded my mind. Within days, we had shared the news with my family. My mom and sister's reactions were much like ours, but my Dad offered a different insight. My Dad is a man of few words, but I am eternally thankful for his perspective because it completely changed mine. Although this came to us as a complete and utter shock, children are a blessing and as husband and wife, we are extremely blessing to be fertile. Thanks Dad for speaking wisdom into my life!

The Lord's timing is perfect and complete submission is a forever winding road leading us through the process of sanctification. After hours of intense discussions, David and I are left smiling about this small bundle of joy growing inside of me. It will be our last child and I am determined to savor every flutter, nauseous feeling, food aversion, additional pound, kick and punch.

I continue to be in awe of the grace God gives David. Throughout all of this, there have been no "freak out" moments by David (just me!) and only humble knees bowed in prayer. David's words of encouragement offer my heart both peace and serenity, which only a man after God's own heart can offer his wife. I'm forever thankful for every moment of this pregnancy and for every time my husband places his hands on my growing belly and we pray together for our third unborn child.

We are abundantly blessed indeed!

Summer Lovin'

I love family. We started out our two week vacation by driving to NC. My Dad, very selflessly, offered to fly up to PA and drive with the kids and I back to NC. It was an incredible blessing and I'm so thankful that I was able to share the ride with another adult! The kids and I spent the first week of our vacation with my sister and her sweet family. Holland is completely in her element when she is with her "cousies" and seeing her so incredibly happy brings my heart a huge amount of joy. Jackson is still getting to know his loving cousins and will have to get used to being around 3 wild girls! It is a good thing that he is so laid back:)

Our stay with Mimi and the gang surfaced a lot of different emotions within me. While I was so very happy to spend such quality time with them, it brought into light just how much of the "little" things I am no longer apart of and just how much I miss being 8 hours away. My nose tingle and eyes water just thinking about how much our nieces change in between visits. It does make me grateful for the time that we had when we were closer and for the strong bond we made early on in both of their lives. For me, this is the hardest part of being away from family.

We were also able to visit with David's Dad's side of the family. They are amazing people. The amount of love that is within the walls of his grandmother's house is indescribable. Generations are able to sit, talk and laugh for hours and it only feels like minutes. I think that it has inspired David and I to have close relationships with our siblings and their families because we truly desire a close knit family even against the distance of miles between us.

The last half of our summer vacation to NC was spent at the beach. We were able to meet our nephew, Henry and spend some quality time with the other side of David's family. While I did not spend more than an hour on the beach the entire week, Holland and David had a blast together (along with Uncle Hank) making memories on the beach.

In Love with My Loves

I am very grateful for the gift of our children. My heart has never felt so full of love that it could burst every time I look at the two of them. I am amazed at how incredibly different Holland and Jackson are. Holland is full of life and is full of funny questions and busy suggestions. Jackson has a calm demeanor and is simple and sweet. They challenge me daily to be a living, breathing example of a selfless, patient, loving mommy; although I frequently make mistakes and ask for their forgiveness. It is hard to believe that our bundles of joys are 2 1/2 years old and 4 months old. They give our life a whole new meaning and purpose.

Simple Joys

Since moving to Pittsburgh, I am reminded daily of the simple joys in life I have taken for granted. Waking up every morning, looking outside the window towards a familiar street, seeing a friend at the grocery, and just driving down the road to see family and old friends...the list could go on and on. I miss familiar faces, Harris Teeter, a good ol' dirty mexican restaurant, and just plain comfort. This journey has started to weigh on me and has challenged me to reflect on who I am, who I want to be, and what is important to me. There is an internal struggle of being thankful yet allowing myself to grieve change and our new surroundings. I am coming to understand that Pittsburgh is a long term commitment and most likely where my babies will start elementary school (whew, only 3 years away for my sweet HUGgie). While there is nothing that I can honestly say I dislike about Pittsburgh (it truly is a great city), I still find myself calling North Carolina "home".

With that said, I titled this excerpt "simple joys" because I tend to overlook these small blessings everyday. So, it was nice to take the kids to Kennywood for an afternoon of fun, face paint and food. I think that it brought out the inner child in both David and myself watching Holland's face illuminate with excitement as she rode rides and soaked up the amusements.

Jackson enjoyed himself too. He is following in the footsteps of his mama and sister as a people watcher. He is a little more laid back though like his Daddy.

What We Do

Change is never easy for me. It usually involves a lot of tears, resistance and sometimes a little stomping of the feet. Over the past three weeks, there have been tears and lots of hugs given in the Uzzell house. We are slowly transitioning into our life here and with a few things hung, it is beginning to feel more like home. His goodness has been shown to my sweet family, time and again since we have been here in Pittsburgh. It is hard to deny that this is where we are supposed to be! Our neighbors are incredible and have given us a gracious welcome. I'm sure that having a sweet 2 year old girl running up the street in a tutu and wings helps too!

We have joined a rec club up the street for the kids and I to go to during the days and for David and Holland to have some special one on one time. The love between those two is just incredible. Holland likes pretending to be Ariel and having David act as her Flounder. It is quite heartwarming to watch and somewhat amusing to see how smitten they are with one another.

We have been praying for a friend for Holland long before we got to Pittsburgh. She has befriended another two year old, Ava who lives close by. Holland enjoys spending time with her(and playing in her sandbox) and it is nice to have another mom to talk to! Holland is really into the Dinsey Princesses. Ariel and Cinderella are her favorite. She has nicknamed Jackson, "Gus Gus", the chubby mouse in Cinderella. She loves pretending to be a princess.

Jackson enjoys being doted upon and passing out his crooked little smile (it melts my heart every time!) He is my sweet baby boy. He loves being cuddled and in the arms of his mama. He smiles every time he sees Holland (even though it sometimes involves a whomp on the head!) He is cooing more, grabbing for things and laughing quite a bit. Like his big sister, he is a great nighttime sleeper and loves his naps. Such a huge blessing!

During Jackson's morning naps, Holland and I enjoy our time together. It usually involves making a treat for David or whipping up some Jell-O in the kitchen! It is so fun to spend one on one time with her.

David is loving his job at Heinz. Thus far it seems like a great fit and it is nice to have him around in the evenings without school work hanging over his head! He is an Associate Brand Manager specifically overseeing Frozen Soups that are distributed to various companies. We are enjoying all of the benefits of David working in the food/consumer industry:) The soups are delish and are a nice addition to our freezer!