A Father's Love

18 weeks into our pregnancy with Holland, we found out that she was a healthy, growing girl. David and I both were left feeling gleeful yet speechless as we had always envisioned a houseful of rampant boys. I was secretly excited because I was able to finally shop (and I mean SHOP) for our sweet Holland Grace. I knew that the possibilities were endless!

I will never forget our conversation that evening and the months following. David was undoubtedly the most insecure I had ever seen him. He questioned himself in how he would father a baby girl. I assured him that God had chosen us as parents for Holland and specifically for David to be her earthly father. I had never been more confident in David in knowing what a tender, supportive and affectionate father he would become instantly. During my tumultuous labor experience with Holland, David's role instantly changed from not only a protective husband, but a protective father that wants to offer provision and stability over his children.

I was reminded on his tender, selfless heart this past Friday night when we were on one of our much needed date nights. We had just finished an incredible sushi dinner at our favorite local place. I have been having a lot of sciatic nerve pain during this pregnancy with Maelynn and although the food was amazing, I was in dire need of a mood change! David did his best and treated us to cheesecake from Barnes and Noble. We were getting it to-go since I was not feeling particularly well when this overpriced frog shaped iced cookie caught his eye. He looked at me and smiled. He saw the $3 price tag and started to put it back, but then smiled again and asked the cashier to add it to our tab. David knew that Holland would be elated (and more than likely willing to share!) to receive this cookie from him.

This small act may seem just that, but David does things like this all of the time for Holland and Jackson. It isn't the act of spending money, but knowing that they will feel loved by him and have confidence in knowing that even when he is not right there all of the time, they are never far from his thoughts. It gives me great joy to have married a man of David's character, but even more-so for the father he is to our children. It not only goes from picking out little things they will delight in, but teaching, modeling and reading to them about a Father our hearts desire for them to ultimately rest in knowing and serving. He has left corporate meetings, late night graduate school study sessions, and leisure activities with friends when any one of our children are in need of him. I do not say these things boastfully, but with a thankful heart of the man our children call Daddy. It's incredible to see their earthly father humble himself and share with them that there is more to this life than their little eyes can see and a heavenly Father whose love far surpasses ours.

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4

New Year, New Beginnings

I have never fully grasped the excitement of New Years. Perhaps this will change as our children get older, as have our perspectives and excitement surrounding birthdays. For now, we are complacent and are not busting at the seems with intense jubilee when the clock strikes midnight.

This past Sunday, a pastor at our church encouraged us to pray about certain changes the Lord wants in our lives. Though our hearts and passions are different, our intentions and desires for Holland, Jackson and Maelynn are identical. As parents, David and I both desire each one of our children to come to know the Lord, seek Him and be used for His glory all of their remaining days. We are always brainstorming of ways and opportunities to minister to Holland and Jackson, but specifically Holland right now. She is at the age where she is asking an immeasurable amount of questions and sincerely is curious about the world around her. We are seizing this chance to mold her little mind and more importantly her heart.

2011 is a year of new beginnings and changes for the Uzzell household. It was placed on David's heart for us to start a family bible study. Though we felt a little unprepared, we wanted to start it before we had the chance to make any excuses! We began our study in Genesis and are using a book given to us by a friend/mentor called Long Story Short: Ten Minute Devotions to Draw Your Family Closer to God.

Our studies are not long, only 10 minutes or so, but the benefits are already being shown. Holland is very excited to pull out our family bible and study book every night at 7 o'clock and shout, "Time for Bible study!" It is great to see her energized about learning and being in God's word. To the best of her ability, she has grasped that God created everything with His power and just by speaking. Her favorite thing (right now) that she is most thankful for God creating is " Toy Story Dominoes". It is wondrous to see Him through Holland's little eyes. While Jackson is not an active participant yet, he drinks his bottle while listening to our conversation and prayers. It is a sweet sight that I know has been captured in our minds forever.

Mary Did You Know

"Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign; Behold, the Virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel." Isaiah 7:14

My favorite Christmas song of all time is "Mary Did You Know". The lyrics are incredibly powerful and touch my heart every time my ears hear this beautiful truth in song.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?

Mary did you know.. Ooo Ooo Ooo

The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.

Happy Birthday, HUGgie!

Three precious years ago, the Lord entrusted Holland Grace to us.

She cried loud and hard for the first 6 hours of her precious life; it sincerely was the most precious sound we had ever heard. We knew then that Holland was purpose driven and so very tender hearted.

She has taught us how to truly love selflessly and unconditionally. Words cannot define how deep our love is for her or how richly she blesses our lives each day.

Holland is our first miracle in many ways. Early on in my pregnancy, the doctors sat us down and told us that we should prepare to miscarry once again as this pregnancy did not appear "viable". We both wept in disbelief.

After a few moments, I regained composure and felt complete peace within. Without doubt, I knew that this child growing inside of me would be our first born and in that we found refuge. Each of our children have been given family names with the exception of Holland's middle name, Grace. Grace is what the Lord gave us that day and it was then that we decided if our first born were to be a girl her middle name would be Grace.

Happy Birthday to our precious, Holland Grace! Being your parents is one of life's greatest joys. We are thankful to be on this journey called life with you. Bless your sweet heart. We love you, HUGgie!

Give Thanks.

"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever." Psalm 107:1

It's simple. I'm thankful and this season has encouraged me to reflect on His goodness, grace and undeserved mercies. In this season, I am learning to be thankful for the simple things and taking the time to enjoy them.

1. I'm thankful for my sight and hearing. Sounds crazy, but I have given this a lot of thought recently. What an incredible, taken for granted gift. Every day, I have the opportunity to see my children play, cry, smile and laugh. Simple joys. I see my loving husband's face light up every evening as he walks through the door and our jubilant Holland running to meet him. I hear the words "I love you" more than once a day from the people I love the most.

2. I'm thankful to be a homemaker. It is the most rewarding and challenging job I have ever had. I am witness to every milestone, confrontation and new discovery of our precious little ones. I am learning to let some things go and to not be such a "Martha" with her to-do list. Life is bigger than a list and goes by way too quickly.

3. I'm thankful for my husband. In all my life, I have never known a more self-sacrificing, loving, forgiving and humble man. The way that he loves me and our family is overpowering. I'm thankful he asked me to be his "bride" and for being my partner in life. He is the sweetest, most gentle person I know and he adores our crazy life as much as I do!

4. I'm thankful for the blessing of children. Holland Grace is our energetic, question-asking, tender hearted first born. She brings light into every room she enters and offers a new perspective in every situation. God has great plans for her busy hands and feet! Jackson Hughes is our "sveet" boy. He has the most gentle spirit much like David. From his crooked little grin and floor stomping legs to the way he grabs hold of my hand and leans in for a slobbery kiss, he has melted my heart from the moment our eyes met. Maelynn Thomas is our unborn baby girl. Already, she has challenged us spiritually and emotionally thus bringing us closer to our Maker and to one another. I can't imagine life without any one of them.

5. I'm thankful for our Maker. I'm thankful that He has written the book of life and I am not responsible to writing my own script. I'm thankful for the life He has given me and the path He has paved before me.

Unspeakable Joy

Yesterday morning, I had the pleasure of bringing David to his first doctor's appointment with this pregnancy. He opened the door for me, took a deep breath, smiled nervously and said, "Here we go. For the final time." We were moments away from seeing our precious child for the first time together on the ultrasound screen. I confess that as the doppler was put on my stomach for this final time, my eyes were fixed on David and not the screen. I longed to see the joy in his eyes as he laid eyes on our third child for the first time. It was there I saw unspeakable joy and like twice before, he exclaimed, "Unbelievable."

Our little bundle of joy showed itself to be very active, modest, and stubborn. It took almost 30 minutes for the technician to get our baby to move into position so we could find out the gender. With Holland and Jackson, we were able to see within moments so it seemed like an eternity! Not to our surprise, the technician told us that we would be having a beautiful, healthy baby GIRL!

Our sweet little girl displayed some of favorite activities in utero (which is nice because I am always wondering what they are doing in there!): she is a thumb sucker, a talker (she'll fit right in!) and enjoys putting her hands on top of her hand. Our hearts overflow once again with unspeakable joy and thanksgiving for a beautiful, healthy baby. All praise be to Him!

Proverbs 31 Woman

"She is a woman of the Word, virtuous, slow to anger, and quick to love. She is prayerful, eager to listen, and quick to forgive. She is selfless, a servant, joyful, and self-sacrificing. She feels deeply and finds true excitement in simple things. She is unique. She is mine. " paraphrased Proverbs 31

Life as I know it right now is overwhelming. My mind is constantly filled with questions and uncertainty, wandering and doubting more than I ever knew to be imaginable. This rawness is real and something that as a Christian, I think we do a poor job of showing. Humbleness is where I am lead to and complete surrender. Graciously, God meets me there every time and I am comforted simply by sitting in His silent presence.

My heart's desire has always been to have children. Just look at their precious faces. It is one of life's greatest joys and undeserved blessings that have been poured out into my life. Recently, there have been more days than not that I feel like I'm failing especially with Holland. It ranges from the guilt of giving her too much juice to feeling as though I am simply impatient at times with her. She has such an endearing, sensitive spirit and I could not feel more blessed and challenged to have her as our first. Her busyness does not overwhelm me because I know that God has great things in store for her hands and feet. She is strong willed and I'm sure that will take her far as well, especially since this is where we don't always see eye to eye. She is 2 and ready to conquer the world and no longer seems to need her Mama's direction except when crossing the street and not wanting to get "flattened like a pancake". There is no doubt in my mind that we are at a crossroads. I see it in her eyes every time I am short-tempered with her or find myself busily cleaning in the other room.

I know all of the hip-parenting jargon of not wanting to be their child's friend, and I buy that. What I don't buy is that kids will be kids. Kids need structure and a solid foundation. Of course they are going to test the limits, but the things that will shape them most is what they SEE, not just what they hear. I not only want Holland and Jackson to hear me truth into their lives, but to see me aspiring to be the Proverbs 31 woman. Yes, I am going to stumble, but His grace is sufficient and mercies are new every day. Paraphrased, this is what I aspire to be and want Holland and Jackson to know me as:

"She is a woman of the Word, virtuous, slow to anger, and quick to love. She is prayerful, eager to listen, and quick to forgive. She is selfless, a servant, joyful, and self-sacrificing. She feels deeply and finds true excitement in simple things. She is unique. She is mine. "

So, I have decided to let some things go. No more cleaning or laundering while the kids are awake. We can hire someone to share those duties. That is not why we made the choice for me to stay at home with the kids. It is to be with the kids, spend time with them, play with them, read to them, pray for them, and to love on them. In letting these things go, prayers have already been answered about which direction we are taking. Just the other day after naptime, Holland crawled into bed with me and cheerily said, "Mommy, I'm so glad I get to spend every day with you." That girl has a way of speaking truth into my life and touching my heart in ways that no one else can.